I am not a shy person. It’s just that I don’t feel like talking, at times. I go into that silence zone because I feel tired of people and talks. It’s not really sadness, to be honest. It’s just me getting tired of everything around me. I just want to be left alone. I don’t even want people to ask me “Why, what happened?” Because nothing really happens, mostly. I just get fed up with the same routine and the same things around me. So I take a break, a harmless break.
And I don’t do anything specific in that me time. In fact, that’s exactly why I take a break. I don’t want to do anything specific. I just want to do nothing. I just want to breathe and live, in peace. I get tired of the burden these relationships carry. I mean, every bond comes with its responsibilities and drama. And after a point, it gets to your nerves. And at that tipping point, it’s better to take a break than fight and hurt the other person. Because you are not finding fault with people. You are not angry at them. You are just tired. You are just tired in your soul.
But I hate it when people keep pestering me to talk, and smile, and laugh. I mean, why? Why do I always have to be at my best? I want to enjoy the nothingness in my life. I don’t want to feel pressured into taking care of things and people, every single day of my life. You know, there are so many of my things that I bury just because I have so many things to take care of others. I lose on so much of my happiness because I have to take care of their smile. And I like it. I like to make my people happy. But sometimes, I want to be left alone and get pampered too. So that’s why I take those days off. Please let me enjoy a few hours from my mad life, alone, with just my own self. That’s all I ask for.
“Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.”
Flawed hooman
